Crown Royal – Maple Finished

Crown Royal Maple Finished Canadian WhiskyThis is, easily, the most disgusting thing I’ve drank this decade. I refuse to even humor it with actual notes. At the store I saw the words Maple Finished and mistakenly thought it meant finished in a maple barrel. Imagine my crushing disappointment when I realized that they actually meant injected with flavored maple cancer. Pity the souls who wander here. 

That there’s even a market for this is amazing to me. I understand the idea behind flavored vodka, but whisky?! Vodka has all the personality of a coma patient and tastes like rubbing alcohol. It could use a little character to hide the ethanol, but whisky has its own, much bolder character. If you like whisky then you don’t need to make it taste like anything other than good whisky. I feel like this product is indicative of two things: a national marketing paradigm that’s run out of good ideas, and a whisky market that needs a disciplined smack in the face. The effort that it would take to add actual maple syrup to your whisky, if that’s the awfulness you desire, is so insignificant that only an asshole would actually buy a bottle like this. For the difference between cost, you could buy a bottle of regular Crown Royal and a whole bottle of fake maple syrup with enough leftovers to put on your shitty pancakes tomorrow morning.

Rating: RiskyBut that’s not to say this bottle is completely worthless. You can use it to identify which of your friends are completely devoid of sensibility and good taste. If you see it on someone’s shelf you know that they have no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to whisky and you can hide your good stuff from them when they come over to visit.

2 thoughts on “Crown Royal – Maple Finished

  1. Anon

    Crown Royale sucks to begin with, whenever I drink it I feel like I’m drinking perfume. You want really good and inexpensive? drink Ancient Age!

  2. Barb

    I received this as a gift and had the exact reaction as you. Gross and disappointing. I had high hopes as I’m a fan of an Alberta distillery that makes Sweet Sippin Canadian Maple Whiskey which is an absolute pleasure to drink right on ice. Made by Highwood Distillers. Hope you get a chance to try it!


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